I am not really sure how this blog is going to turn out, so be prepared for a bunch of randomness. The only way I know how to start is to share a verse that I have been meditating on for the past couple of days.
“The life of the godly is full of light and joy, but the light of the wicked will be snuffed out” Prov. 13:9
I don’t know if many of you know what has really been going on here, so I will try and do a quick recap.
First of all, about a month ago I got a call from my mom informing that my grandfather had a double heart attack. When it first happened he wasn’t strong enough to do much more than rest, even though they thought we would for sure need surgery. Well, one morning God woke me up at 6:30 am and very vividly said “You have to tell them there is hope.” I knew God could and would heal Him, but regardless, I knew I had to let my grandparents know there IS hope. So I did. About two weeks ago when my grandfather went back to the doctor, the doctor said for now he is healthy. He’ll have to do some more tests to just make sure, but he should be fine. He doesn’t need surgery. Some might say it is a coincidence or something strange, but I don’t. It was God. There is hope. He is right in front of us. I find joy in this.
About a week after my grandfathers heart attack, one of my beautiful girls here in Jbay that I disciple decided that God was calling her home. It was rough. You spend so long pouring into some one’s life that it becomes hard to let go and be okay with the seasons that people are in your life. As much as I wanted to fight it, God knew what He was doing. He had things in her He needs to do that He couldn’t accomplish here. It was tough. I had a lot of questions, but still…the one thing that I still had was joy. I had the joy of knowing her. I had the joy that God CHOSE to use me in her life. I was able to see her grow and tackle things she never dreamed of.
On top of that, our teams here in South Africa experienced a huge tragedy. One of our beloved students, Sarah Buller, who was serving on the PE team was in a fatal car accident. She was with two other teammates and a local. They were heading to Jbay that afternoon when a tire blew. The car flipped. She was thrown from the car and shortly after passed away. It’s one of those things you never thought would ever happen. I’m thankful to have known Sarah. Last semester I was given the opportunity to disciple her and truly get to know her. I remember so many of our conversations. We laughed. We challenged one another. We talked about our hopes and dreams. That girl was all about Christ. The joy and love of God seeped out of her very being. The world has been changed because of her and the life she had here. Now she is at home…with Jesus. In a strange way, I can find joy in this too. Yes, I don’t understand tragedy or God’s timing, but there is still joy. There is still hope. People have now heard of God…of Jesus Christ…not only through her life, but also through her death.
Since Sarah’s death, so many other things have gone wacko from girls being sick, girls needing to go to the hospital, teammates leaving and going home, going to Cape Town to process, still pushing on with the program here and most recently, Dr. Bill (my SA grandpa) having a stroke. Most days I wake up not knowing what is going to happen. But now, I will bring it back to the verse at the beginning. Despite all circumstances, I am promised that my life is FULL of LIGHT and JOY. Those things still remain. I will NOT be snuffed out.
I’m learning what it looks like to live a life full of joy despite my environment. So many times I want to get stressed. I want to get easily irritated. I want to be what we call “miss pissy pants.” But why? I have Christ. I’m living the life I was called to live. I get to live life with 10 amazing women of God. I get to see God move in people’s lives every day. It’s so easy for me to lose perspective and think all this is about me, but it’s not. It’s about Christ and through good or bad, He is receiving glory….and through that glory I find my joy. I will not be snuffed out. You don’t be snuffed out. If you know Christ, YOUR LIFE, my friend, is full of JOY AND LIGHT.
